I Was Confused and Afraid

Have you ever been confused? Afraid?  I have been both.  In fact I spent several months, even years in a state of ‘confusion’ and fear.

I knew I wanted to leave the corporate world and work on my own in my field - Human Resource Management, so I took the first consultancy contract that literally came my way.  A good friend brought my attention to a Call For Proposal and encouraged me to apply.  I did and was successful and dived right in.  

Thereafter, through referrals I kept getting calls for other consultancies and I would accept them.  

I was busy and working very hard.  I was NOT enjoying a lot of the work I was doing, however.  I felt that I had to do it to earn money, but I was finding most of it to be laborious and painstaking.  There was no joy in it.  Not to mention cash flow was inconsistent and unreliable and there would be many months with no income.  

Yet, I was not promoting my business nor my work.  I had this paralyzing fear of getting a flood of requests for my service and having to turn some down.  Furthermore, I had the fear that I may not know enough or have the ‘capacity’ to meet clients’ expectations.  

I was confused and afraid, and those close to me felt confused and afraid as well because they could not understand what I was doing (I did not understand either), and when I would come out of the ‘fog’ I seemed to be in.

I did not want the same type of work but did not know what type of work I wanted, and I felt I had no choice but to take what came my way in order to have income.

I felt stuck and out of control.

Eventually, God led me to seek and engage help.  He led me to coaches - business coaches, life coaches, success coaches, Christian coaches - other Christian women business owners, who had “been there and done that” and had found their way.  

I realized that I needed to learn to operate a business and to think like a business owner and operator.  I needed to make time to create structure and systems and for financial and operational management.  

I must say that when I began to see the light, I could not help but feel rather foolish, even ashamed of myself.  Why?  As a manager in the corporate world I had learned and practiced strategic planning, and used that knowledge with a couple of my consultancy clients, yet in my hustle and bustle, and striving, I had NOT applied my knowledge of strategic planning to my own business.  

I had not stopped working as though I had ‘a job’.  I had not made the necessary shift in mindset to having a vision for my business, defining my ideal client, packaging and pricing my unique offer, and setting goals, targets and budgets for revenue, profit and impact.

Slowly, but surely with the help of my coaches I found my way.  I now have clarity, purpose, direction, and success.  I continue to learn as my business continues to evolve in response to changing needs and redefined services, and further clarity regarding the ideal clients I am called to serve.  

It took accepting my need for help, and finding and engaging the right help.

Are you confused about your life, career or business?  I would like to help you and hopefully pull you out of that fog sooner rather than later like me.  Schedule a call with me here to see if my course for women who are stuck, depleted and feeling defeated - ‘Recharge & Reset:  Maximize Your Potential, Fulfill Your Purpose’, is for you.  Check out my website as well, if I can be of service to you in any other capacity.

Sharon Carruthers, the author of the ‘Weekend Reset’ blog is a child of God, wife, mother of 3, a Human Resource Management and Development Consultant, and owner of the firm, ‘Bold Consulting’.  She is sharing from her own experiences for women who are holding back, or living on autopilot; who believe their identities are in others and, or in what they do; or who neglect themselves while sacrificially taking care of others. She hopes that together Christian women can embrace the future with the beautiful hope of transformation one step at a time.