WHAT OR WHO'S HOLDING YOU BACK?

It may not even be a matter of abuse, and I am aware that sometimes persons are really ‘in captivity’. I am referring to those of us (we know ourselves) who are talented, gifted, and/or passionate about something(s), but we allow the opinions, preferences, demands, disparaging remarks, objections, or negativity of others to stop, derail, discourage us, and ultimately we do NOT pursue our passion or do NOT do what it takes for our dream(s) to materialize.

You may have taken the deliberate and fulfilling decision at some point in your life to defer pursuing a hobby, or career, or business until, for example, your children were grown, or some other milestone. You may have decided to defer for example, having children until your career or business was established, or building your dream house or buying your dream car, or taking your dream vacation until this or that or the other. That is sometimes necessary. What about when, however, that milestone was met and then ……. You NEVER RESUMED the pursuit of your dreams?

Have you put your life on hold? Have you allowed your dream to die? Have you allowed your passion to fizzle out? Have you decided you have too many commitments and responsibilities, you are too old, too poor, too this or that or the other to finally live YOUR life, fulfill YOUR purpose, answer YOUR calling, realize YOUR dream? Think about it. What or who is holding you back? Really?

I know some of us think that if we spend time, effort, or money, on pursuing what we want, others will see us as being selfish, thoughtless, heartless, unsympathetic, or cold. Some may have even told us (and we chose to believe) that we don’t care about them enough, are irresponsible, or can afford to wait, or a myriad of reasons why we CAN’T.

We women are very good at taking guilt trips.

Sheba would eventually be freed and could join Jazzy, but Jazzy chose to remain ‘in captivity’ because Sheba remained ‘in captivity’.

We cannot help ourselves nor anyone else if we are in captivity.

You only stand a chance of helping yourself and those who remain in captivity, by using your freedom and doing what it takes for you to grow and develop, and what ONLY YOU can do in this world. By making YOUR mark, changing what God meant for YOU to change, achieving what YOU have the potential to achieve. Only THEN will you be in a position to help those who are still in captivity to receive and accept their freedom.

I thank God for the day I realized I was holding myself back in mental slavery and allowing my own negative voice and the negative voices of others to be louder than God’s voice. God had already told me (and you) that “I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength”, and that:

My sister has two well-loved dogs called Jazzy (male) and Sheba (female) who are full of personality and antics between them. When you approach her kennel, Sheba excitedly goes through a series of jumps up and down like a kangaroo, and standing on her hind legs like a circus animal, to get your attention and besiege you to let her out. It is really entertaining to see.

Jazzy barks his head off and, well, I make sure to stay out of his way, because on the occasion I forgot he was out of his kennel and went outside, I only heard some heavy panting rapidly approaching and dived back through the door just in time to hear him literally skidding to a stop because he was running after me so fast he could not stop himself at the doorway.

Well my mother told me that one day my sister let Jazzy out of her kennel, but not Sheba. Shortly afterward they found Jazzy back in his kennel with the door shut. They thought little of it, then on another occasion she did the same - let out Jazzy but not Sheba. After a while they could not find Jazzy. After searching all over for him for a long time they eventually, again found him in his kennel. They had to accept that Jazzy had actually gone back in his kennel and shut the door behind him - refusing to be free if Sheba was not freed as well. Hmmmmmmm. What do you make of that? Amazing. What a clever, sensitive and noble dog?

While it could be considered a noble thing, I’m not so sure how much sense it makes for any of us to choose to be ‘in captivity’ when we are freed, in order to be with, empathize with, or keep the company of, someone who is still ‘in captivity’. Interestingly enough this is what many of us actually do.We have been given free will by our creator, yet many of us give up/surrender our free will to please, satisfy, pacify, gratify, or stay in the lives of others. We tell ourselves that we have no alternative, or this is our lot in life. Some women have even met their deaths at the hands of persons they chose to stay with despite the fact that these persons were verbally, mentally, emotionally and/or physically abusing them.

Don’t be like Jazzy. Embrace your freedom. Live your life.

I chose to really put my trust in God for every aspect of my life. I chose to shake off the chains of scarcity mentality, insecurities, fears, people-pleasing, procrastination, and other self-destructive mindsets and habits. If I had not refused to continue to wallow in limitations, constraints, past mistakes, and regrets, and forever be held back, I would never have seen the growth and success I am seeing in my life and business today. I am by no means saying it is easy to break free from mental chains. I chose to accept the help of coaches who spoke life and guided me to emotional health.

I acknowledge that I am free and choose to live free in the abundant life Christ died for me to have. Now I can help someone who needs to hear how I chose freedom and how I continue to enjoy my freedom. If that is you and you need that help, feel free to schedule a free call with me here to see if my course - ‘Recharge & Reset: Maximize Your Potential, Fulfill Your Purpose’ is for you.

Sharon Carruthers, the author of the ‘Weekend Reset’ blog is a child of God, wife, mother of 3, a Human Resource Management and Development Consultant, and owner of the firm, ‘Bold Consulting’. She is sharing from her own experiences for women who are holding back, or living on autopilot; who believe their identities are in others and, or in what they do; or who neglect themselves while sacrificially taking care of others. She hopes that together Christian women can embrace the future with the beautiful hope of transformation one step at a time.