Don't Look Back!!!
Oh boy. I was so exhausted at the end of last week to the point that I was almost considering skipping out of my family’s trip to Portland.
Me #recharging and resetting at Frenchman’s Cove in Portland - the roads are awful though!
This exhaustion, however, is really a post-covid symptom - getting exhausted easily. It is a sort of blessing in disguise because I am forced to pace myself. If you’ve been reading my blogs for a while you would know that as a recovering perfectionist and workaholic, this is a constant battle - my ‘thorn in the flesh’.
Well, it does not serve me to look back at my covid trials nor to dwell on the negatives. I am grateful my symptoms were relatively mild and I am now officially covid free.
I did have to take a week off from work to recharge and reset because I initially tried to work through it, and the symptoms were lingering as a result.
I am getting back into a work routine now, which of necessity, but thankfully, definitely includes less packed days and more breaks. I cannot go back to my pre-covid pace. More importantly, I cannot afford to go back to some of the ways I would operate in the past. You know what I mean. Furthermore, I dare not go back to my former “bad” working habits which had eventually led to panic anxiety attacks and ill health. I cannot go back to an unbalanced diet and generally poor self-care.
It is very easy to, and truthfully, from time to time I do, but I do NOT CHOOSE to stay there. I will NOT look back.Lot’s wife looked back.
She looked back at the burning cities of Sodom and Gomorrah which God himself was destroying because they had rejected Him and were infested by immorality and sinful vices of the most horrific nature. Lot and his family were being rescued by God from being destroyed with the cities, since they were the only ones there who feared and served Him. God sent His angels to escort them to the safety of the mountains just in the nick of time.
Because of her disobedience to God who had instructed them NOT TO LOOK BACK, Lot’s wife was turned into a pillar of salt. WOW. Can you even imagine that? A solid column of salt. Permanent. A monument. A reminder to the world across generations and centuries of what happens when one deliberately disobeys God and turns back to where or what He has taken you from.
I wonder if this is where our local expression “yuh salt” came from? We use this to indicate that someone is very bad-lucky or prone to misfortune. LOL.
Me during my “retreat” to #recharge & reset post-covid
An image of what Lot’s wife might have looked like after being turned into a pillar of salt for disobeying God and looking back…
Why on earth did she look back you might be asking yourself? You may be guessing - curiosity, concern for her friends in the cities, attachment to all she was leaving behind as bad as it was (her comfort zone)?
Before you get too judgemental of Lot’s wife, stop and think of how many times you have looked back!!!
How many times have I quit this or that bad habit only to pick it back up again, and have to work at dropping it again… much to my disappointment and discouragement?
How many times have I decided to trust God’s word and not be fearful nor anxious, seen God come through for me, but the next time I face a challenge, I get into a state of panic and fear?
How many times have I looked back at my past sins, mistakes, vices, bad choices and failures that God has forgiven, rescued me from, or caused to work out for my good and His glory, YET returned to them, or decided that because of my past I am not good enough to do what I am called to do today, or just simply not good enough?
Can you relate? God, as usual has a word for me … and you. It is the same words that he had spoken to Lot and his family - “DON’T LOOK BACK!!!” Philippians 3:13-14 is one of my favourite verses:
“...but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”
Why would God give such a warning? Why is it so important not to turn back to or not to dwell on our past? Hebrews 12:1-2 helps answer this question:
“Therefore… , stripping off every unnecessary weight and the sin which so easily and cleverly entangles us, let us run with endurance and active persistence the race that is set before us, looking away from all that will distract us and focusing our eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and Perfecter of faith.”
Can you run a race while looking back? Not for long before falling flat on your face and not even finishing the race. Not without slowing down and losing the race.
We look back when we don’t heal and learn from past mistakes, failures and hurt including bad habits, addictions, lies, yielding to temptations, abusive or failed romantic relationships, or broken friendships. As a result we can place too much importance on what others are doing or saying about us, leading to codependency or discouragement. Unhealed relational hurts can lead to a hardened heart, low self-esteem, fear of intimacy and isolation.
Just as Lot’s wife was stuck in a solid state, when we keep looking back we too can become debilitated with fear of more of the same hurts, of making more mistakes, or failing again.
God knows our past yet He invites us to come to Him as we are and let Him take care of our past. When we seek his help He forgives and erases or heals the parts of our past that need to be.
“Come now, let’s settle this,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool. (Isaiah 1:18)
You see, we cannot fulfill our purpose while being held back by the “negatives” of our past. We must walk, in fact run away from ANYTHING that distracts us from fulfilling the plans God has for our lives….for our future.
With God’s help we can seek support to heal, learn and grow from our past, so that we would NOT be immobilized by our past. If you find yourself always “looking back”, struggling to move forward, and need some support and accountability, talk with me in a free coaching session (schedule HERE) and let us explore how you can overcome the potentially crippling effects of your past.
Sharon Carruthers, the author of the ‘Weekend Reset’ blog is a child of God, wife, mother of 3, a Human Resource Management and Development Consultant, and owner of the firm, ‘Bold Consulting’. She is sharing from her own experiences for women who are holding back, or living on autopilot; who believe their identities are in others and, or in what they do; or who neglect themselves while sacrificially taking care of others. She hopes that together Christian women can embrace the future with the beautiful hope of transformation one step at a time.