The Greatest Love of All - Part 1
Oooooooh love is in the air! Valentine’s Day is coming up on February 14, so I guess we can say it’s Valentine’s weekend.
The origin of St. Valentine’s Day is shrouded in mystery, but what is sure is that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance. Research reveals that Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains remnants of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. Regardless of its origin, it is interesting to observe what Valentine’s Day means to different people today.
For many it means ‘having a valentine’ (if even just for that day LOL). Women in particular feel internally and externally pressured to be in a romantic relationship around this time. They feel ‘less-than’ if they don’t have someone to give them a gift or take them out for Valentine's Day. Many men on the other hand, if they don’t already have ‘a valentine’ believe they have to ‘brave-up’ themselves to approach with trepidation some ‘lass’ hoping that she would agree to be their valentine. Valentine’s Day therefore, unfortunately is also a time of feeling ‘rejection’ and low self-worth for some who believe they should have a romantic partner at this time.
Valentine’s Day means the colour red for some. Everywhere you go on Valentine’s day you are sure to see people decked out in red outfits, as well as splashes of red in the form of red roses, red teddy bears, red hearts, red balloons. Just any and everything RED.
Most of all Valentine’s Day means the giving of gifts to express love - greeting cards, flowers, chocolates, lingerie, perfume, jewelry, gift baskets, you name it. According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated 145 million Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year, making Valentine’s Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year (more cards are sent at Christmas).
Certainly here in Jamaica, the stores are packed and the streets lined with vendors selling a range of items (lots of them red) all flamboyantly and conveniently ‘packaged’ for desperate men to (often last-minute) get their valentines gifts.
Many use the opportunity to just simply celebrate love in general, so they give Valentine’s Day gifts or cards to their teachers, parents, friends, co-workers etc. just because it is Valentine’s day. They believe everyone should just simply express love to everyone on that day. Even tiny tots and school children are encouraged by their parents or teachers to make Valentines Day cards for their teachers or parents or even for their valentine. Hmmmmmmm.
Others tune out of the Valentine’s Day celebrations in defiance. After all, no one is going to tell them when and how to express their love and even worse, put pressure on their wallet to feather their capitalist nests. So even if they have a ‘valentine’ they declare to the world “I don’t celebrate Valentines’ Day!!!”
As with lots of things today, the day has lost it’s true meaning for many. It can be celebrated on a very surface level with no true love, only outward expressions.
God’s first and greatest commandment is about love. He tells us clearly the ideal order of love - perhaps even the recipe for true love:
“You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27
God demonstrated true love - the greatest love - when He came in the form of man, Jesus Christ, and died to rescue mankind from a God-less eternity: “Greater love has no man than this, than a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
Do you notice the foundational ingredients - friendship and selflessness?
I believe that Valentine’s Day is intended to celebrate eros, romantic love. In my humble opinion true love between couples is a combination of three types of love. We would expect that couples would first and foremost, be friends which is phillio or affectionate love. Ideally, true friends experience and demonstrate selfless (agape) love between them, and ultimately friendship culminates into romantic (eros) love. Sometimes, in reality, the order gets switched up a bit, LOL.
I am not forgetting my ‘single’ ladies. In fact I don’t want you to be among the ones who are feeling ‘left out’ at this time of the year.
Just remember ladies that “For everything there is a season.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
If you do not have romantic (eros) love at this time, know that it is not the season for it. In Psalm 84:11 we are told “no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly”. Trust God who loves you unconditionally, that he has given, and will give you what is good for you in the time that’s best for you.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE SOMEONE’S VALENTINE to be loved. You are loved, and you can love yourself. If you love flowers, you can buy yourself some beautiful flowers on ANY day! Enjoy its vibrant colours and the subtle aroma of its perfume, and smile at the pleasant feelings it evokes anytime you want to.
While you are at it, this weekend, take time to reflect on the things you do not have to wait on a Valentine’s Day for, and which you may not even have to buy - nature, caring family and friends, rest, relaxation, play, laughter, music, dancing, singing. These are things that can make you feel loved and happy whether or not you are somebody’s ‘valentine’.
Your weekend reset tip:
Write a list of things that make you feel loved e.g. playing with your pet, eating out with a good friend, being able to take a looooooooong shower to the wifts of a scented candle, or take a loooooooong nap in the middle of the day, help out a neighbour or friend.
What makes you feel loved? Click on the comment button below and share what makes you feel loved. Some of us need ideas of what we can do, so please share.