I have a confession
Imagine spending most of our waking hours somewhere we dread being or would rather NOT be, or doing something we dread having to do.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to look forward to every day as much as so many look forward to Fridays?
In today’s blog we will be looking at work-life balance.
There is the belief that certain types of flexible work arrangements promote better work-life balance than others.
Flexible work arrangements are alternate arrangements or schedules from the traditional working day and week. Employees may choose a different work schedule to meet personal or family needs. Alternatively, employers may initiate various schedules to meet their customer needs.
Overall, a flexible work environment can be beneficial to both employers and employees. Employees potentially have more freedom to meet all their various commitments, while employers can benefit from a happier and more productive workforce.
Check out my interview on TVJ’s Weekend Smile Jamaica where we discuss the concept of a 4-day work week HERE.
What is work-life balance anyway? According to OWL LABS, it is how workers distribute their time between professional and personal obligations. When someone has a good work-life balance they’re able to allocate their time so they don’t overwork and can spend adequate time and effort on other aspects of their life like family, friends, hobbies, or social activities.
Many believe that for work-life balance we must strive to spend equal amounts of time on work as we do on other aspects of life.
Now this is where I have a confession to make. Based on the definition and picture above I have NOT had a good work-life balance over my years of working? Nor do I now have a good work-life balance.
If you’ve been reading my blogs for a while you know I am a recovering workaholic. Sometimes I do “well”, but other times I regress…and pay the price for it - panic attacks, insomnia, stomach disorders, strained relationships, etc.. I have come a veeeery long way, but definitely not there yet.
During my almost 30-year career, I have worked in organizations with an eight hour work day, five days a week schedule, yet would frequently arrive at work and start working before the official start time and leave way after close, plus take work home, and work many weekends. All this while neglecting self-care - missing meals, eating at my desk, eating unhealthy food and no exercise. I paid a high price for it in terms of my health.
I have been self-employed for the past almost seven years and have complete control over the number of days I work for the week and the number of hours I work each day. In fact I can easily have a 4-day work week. My husband and children will tell you however, that there are many a time that I have chosen to work 7 days a week, and sometimes, on rare ocassions, almost 24 hours a day.
You see then, that the ideal “work-life balance” is IMPOSSIBLE. Work is a part of life, not a separate entity. I have come to understand that what we really desire and should and can enjoy is life-balance.
Life-balance will be different for each person as well as at different phases and stages of each person’s life. This is because life-balance is determined by one’s priorities at any point in time. Balance doesn't mean you give the exact percentage of attention to everything, all the time. It means being able to complete tasks that mean the most and will have the greatest impact for an outcome of success for YOU.
So life balance looks more like this - moving from work dominating your life to work being appropriately integrated with everything else in your life:
What you hopefully may see by now is that work-life or life-balance has nothing to do with the number of workdays or work hours in a day, NOR others’ standards or definition of balance, but rather with one’s own priorities and mindset.
I now priorititize a healthy diet, exercise, and overall self-care, serving those I am called to serve, as well as building my business….so YES, I am experiencing better life-balance. I was able to choose to spend a month visiting my home country, parents, siblings, and extended family, and taking it easy, without “shutting down” my business, or feeling guilty about it.
My ‘sistas’, this should come as a relief to you. We guilt ourselves and shame ourselves because we don’t spend as much time working, or home-making, or “being there” for our spouse or children, or parents, or friends 24-7 as we believe we should, when we choose to have a career or business ……. or not.
When it comes to our children, who do we spend our hard-earned income on, or stay at home and take care of so their fathers could work and provide? Who pays for or contributes to school fees, school uniforms, school books, extra-curricula activities? Who takes them to school and to extra-curricula activities to ensure they are well-rounded in life? Who supervises homework? Who takes them on summer vacations and ensures they have play dates and accommodates their friends in your home?
The truth is we cannot have or do everything equally, all at the same time. We must be content to focus on our priorities at any one stage or phase of our lives, our children’s lives, our career, our marriage, our parents’ stage of life, our health, our need to provide for immediate needs and future needs, etc. etc. etc.
Even scripture tells us in Ecclesiastes 3:1 “To everything, there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven.”
Here are 10 ways I have found, that help me enjoy “life” balance, that you too may find useful:
Accept that things in your work and life aren't going to be balanced—and that's fine. Give up the concept that everything could be “perfect” at home and at work at the same time.
Make sure the things important to you come first. it's crucial to know what your priorities are. Have a road map of what is important to you (VISION) and then commit to following that path. Make deliberate choices about what you want out of life on a yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily basis, (ACTION PLAN) and act accordingly.
Create a daily to-do list, but do not become fixated on that list. Sometimes things will roll over to another day. Sometimes, more pressing activities will force their way into your day. This is OK.
Prioritize your top tasks and do them first.
Put a distinct boundary between work and family time. When we learn to allow work to be in its own place and allow home/family to be in its own place, we are more able to enjoy the moments and beauty of both.
Plan your vacation and days off in advance.
Take time to rest both physically and mentally.
Add exercise as part of your daily routine.
Donate your time, expertise or finances. I love to serve in my church and to share my life lessons with women.
Find other women who understand and on whom you can rely for feedback, help, and support. Surround yourself with an amazing squad of women—and, in those low moments, make sure to reach out for encouragement. Be the person who supports others and make sure the people in your world do the same.
If you need a group of like-minded, empathetic and nurturing women who would be part of your ‘squad’ book a free consultation with me here to see if my programme ‘Recharge & Reset: Maximize Your Potential, Fulfil Your Purpose’, is for you. We have a private Facebook Group comprised of just those women you need.
this weekend’s reset tip:
I would love to hear how you are achieving life balance. Click on the comment button and share your lessons or tips with us.